When I say "diet" or some such phrase, it creates an atmosphere for potential failure. There is no wagon to fall of this time. I'm taking this thing one day at a time and I am committing afresh to my health and wellness. I include my weight to give a complete picture on how I got here.
I was told by someone I admired and respected back in 2012-2013 when I was weighing myself every day that I need not do that. I did very well on my own. I had dropped 65lbs from midJune to March of the following year. I knew better but I allowed that to affect me. I stopped weighing myself like she said and here I am . Back then, I was in the mid or low 300s.
I began going to a boxing gym in 2014 and immediately there was a patron who began "hating" on me and making things uncomfortable for me. The atmosphere which began in a very positive way turned into a horrible experience that I had to withdraw from for my own sanity. There will always be obstacles thrown in my way. I have come to grips with that and I am no longer thrown or surprised or even disappointed by them. I have come to expect them and I am ready. This journey for me is not simply about nutrition of my body but my spiritual nutrition and intake and I have been through a lot of hardships and trials this past year or so. My marriage was in peril. There were days and days of gossip and slander behind my back and I came out on the other side of it. With the help of the Holy Spirit, I was kept.
This flesh cloak, this shield I have used to protect myself from sexual abuse or the prying eyes of men full of lust, etc is no longer welcome. My weight issues are no longer obscured to me and I get it now. No cute names for it. Again, no excuses, just a better understanding of myself and how I process hardship.
So here I go. A new creature. Empowered. Strengthened. Victor. It's a new season in my life. I will not, as I did just some years ago seek approval from my father, no matter how tempting it might be. Regardless of who is with me, I will press on. There will be difficult days and I know this ahead of time. It's okay. I'm not perfect and I don't have to be perfect. I simply have to keep on the journey and allow myself to be surrounded with a support system.
I know it's about mind first. Because after this, the body will follow. So thank you, Lord for keeping me. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to turn things around and give you glory in my body. Thank you for cheering me on. Thank you for using my past to fuel my bright future. I bless the name of God in all things. Jesus loves me at 400lbs. Jesus loves me at 190lbs. Jesus died for me at all stages of my life and He has promised me that He would NEVER LEAVE ME or forsake me and for that I am forever grateful. I am like the woman at the well who had several failed relationships and diets in my past and has restored me.
Here I go. I am drinking the living water. God bless you.
No comments:
Post a Comment